It was not nearly as bad as it looked, really. If Retief Goosen and Jason Gore were just a couple of guys playing in the Pinehurst Member-Guest, they would have shot a best-ball 76.
And that's not even their net score.
Their conversation was becoming almost that silly Sunday evening as the last twosome finally finished the U.S. Open. Gore jokingly suggested that they ask for handicap strokes to be subtracted from their gross totals before signing their cards.
This was a final-group performance like no other in U.S. Open history. The tournament is known for embarrassing a player or two in every final round - like Ernie Els last year - but never the very last two golfers, who had played their way into that position after three days.
Gore shot an 84 to fall from
a tie for second place to a tie for 49th, earning $20,275. He would have collected $562,000 if this was like the Nissan Open or something and it rained hard and the final round was canceled, but this is the U.S. Open and none of that happened, so he paid roughly $6,400 for each of those 84 strokes Sunday.
Kind of makes that $375 regular fee at Pinehurst No. 2 seem reasonable, huh?
Here's the thing: Gore's 84 was not nearly as shocking as Goosen's 81. And Olin Browne's 80 in the next-to-last group looks awfully good compared to Goosen's 81.
Can you imagine the odds against Goosen failing to break 80? This guy was supposedly bulletproof, a two-time U.S. Open winner, known for being something of an automaton, as consistent as they come.
"I just think his game's so well-suited to this tournament, in particular," Mike Weir had said before Goosen teed off Sunday. "Obviously, we're seeing that he's tailor-made for this."
Uh, not always.
Goosen's struggles "ought to bring into crystal clarity how difficult the conditions were," Browne said. "A player of that stature, who was in control of every facet of his game, got his ass handed to him - much like the rest of us. That's just the nature of this game."
Goosen was steady and composed after the round, just not during it. "Terrible day," he said, "but we all have bad rounds, and it's unfortunate it happened in this tournament."
Browne was consoled by what happened to Els last June and Goosen on Sunday. Gore also was understanding of Goosen's troubles.
"This golf course is so bloody difficult, it's got absolutely no room for error," he said. "It spits you out so fast. If you don't hit every fairway, you're struggling."
Tied for the halfway lead with Goosen and Browne, Gore was pretty much expected to shoot 16 over par for the last two rounds. But 78-78 would have been more like it, not 72-84. Say this for the chubby Nationwide Tour player: He kept his sense of humor.
Asked when was the last time he shot 84, he responded, smiling, "About 10 minutes ago."
The interesting thing was that nobody blamed the final-round pressure of the U.S. Open for his problems, just the late-afternoon starting time. The course kept drying out by the hour, and the golf balls just kept bouncing through the fairways and off the greens - except the ones belonging to Michael Campbell and Tiger Woods, which became the standard disclaimers in response to any expressed opinions about the impossible conditions.
People watch golf tournaments for different reasons. When it comes to the U.S. Open, part of the attraction is the human-nature appeal of seeing professionals struggle with a game that bedevils everybody who plays it.
This theory would be more applicable if Browne, Gore and Goosen had actually appeared during the meat of the telecast. They could have climbed the fence after eight or nine holes and strolled around the Village of Pinehurst, for all NBC showed of them.
Maybe that was just as well. Their performance was not suitable for general audiences. Too much Gore.
But the big guy was philosophical afterward. "Stuff like this happens," Gore said, "in the last round of an Open."