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BRITAIN should be known as the land
of garden parties, Savile Row tailoring and the English
rose.
But the first sign of summer has arrived
and it's hardly roses round the door or a gentle G&T
on the lawn.
Cool sophistication has been dumped at
the drop of a hat and in with the sun on a high street
near you comes:
- Unsightly flab and flesh
- Flustered faces
- Lobster red sunburn
- Bare chests
Yes, you can look anyway now because
this week the Western Mail's fashion spies have even spotted
bras posing unconvincingly as bikini tops and sandals
with socks out in public the moment the temperature rises.
This is unacceptable, says one of Wales'
leading stylists. How can we get it so right three seasons
of the year and then plus-20C dump it all for gratuitous
exposure?
We must end this fashion etiquette disaster
now, demands Helen Humphries.
"It is easier to look worse in summer
clothes. They are lighter, thinner and more exposing,"
she said yesterday.
"People show too much, and even
a slim size 10 can look awful in summer clothes never
mind someone bigger.
"Whereas in the winter people hide
their bodies, people are likely to show parts of their
body that they shouldn't in summer."
One of the main crimes against summer
fashion is trying to squeeze into last year's look. Don't
do it. Use it as an excuse for a shopping trip.
Helen recommends, "Think about what
you are wearing, and don't just pull out last year's summer
clothes that might not fit or be suitable."
Men are finally told tone up or cover
up.
Yes, it's official - beer bellies that
overhang are a huge faux pas. And we claim the right to
protest against the six pack's demise. Bring them back!
"I do not think men should bare
their chests unless they are on the beach or in he garden,"
says Helen.
So no wandering around Tesco or the shopping
centre with your top off.
A universal war cry has also been issued
against sunburn. It's just not cool or attractive or good
for your health.
"Lobster flesh is very unfashionable,'
she said. "If you do get caught wear something that
covers it all up."
Ditto for acne, cellulite, bat wings
and pasty skin. No one appreciates such a close encounter
but many love something left to the imagination. If you
need a tan get it faked or use a protection cream.
Ladies, lighten the make-up load for
summer, or it will slide off your face.
Look after feet too. Chipped nail varnish
and gnarly toes are unflattering, spoil a good look.
And no woman should be spotted wearing
a poor-fitting bikini top in the street. It's enough to
make anyone nostalgic for winter.
"You have to invest in a flattering
bikini and it is never acceptable to be out in public
in your underwear," advises Helen.
"You can get away wearing a bikini
in the park as long as it is respectable one.
"Some people tend to wear bikinis
that are exposing and not flattering."
Most hold close the misguided idea that
wearing strappy, skimpy clothes is the key to warding
off heat.
But Helen's advice is to wear loose clothes
made of cotton and linen as the ultimate way to keep cool.
Please, for the sake of our eyes, world
fashion standing and long-term health - take it.
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